THIRTY WHILE THIRTY

Me at 30

It’s funny… when I turned 30 I felt something shift in me - an unlocking, a turning, a release. It was like I remembered a promise I made to myself to let go of anything that was blocking my airways and pinning me down to an iteration of myself that was no longer and never was me.

‘Thirty, flirty and thriving’ I believe is the phrase some use to define this year.

I can’t believe a whole me has spent 30 years old on this planet. Wawu. But I welcome this decade with open arms because I know, deep down in my bones, it’s going to be different to the last. And while some try to do 30 things before their 30, I’ve drawn up 30 things I’m going to do while I’m 30 instead.

self

Have you ever felt like you were in a long-distance relationship with yourself? A long-distance relationship where you’re trying to hold onto an idea of what you thought you were supposed to be but are now beginning to realise that’s the fake news version of you.

In the spirit of transparency, I’ve never actually been in a long-distance relationship so this analogy may not be erm… 1201% accurate but I can imagine how hard you have to work at making sure your communication skills are second to none. part of my way of strengthen my relationship with myself involves doing Bozoma Saint John’s The Badass Workshop.. If you’ve not heard of this woman you need to change that immediately. Her energy is wildly infectious and I want to live so freely that I too help unlock the bind others may be placing themselves in when in my presence.

mental, physical and soul health

Closely tied to the things I’ll be doing to better understand myself are some big life admin tasks I’ve been putting off for the longest time (like getting a smear test) and small ones (e.g., drinking water more water). Not gonna lie this year has done more than a number on my health. I barely leave the house, the food i eat has very low nutritional value and my mental health is on the decline BUT as Tesco says, every little helps. I got a handful of easy tasks in this category to make me feel like I am winning in this area of my life.

relationships

Where so we even begin? This year I really want to work on nurturing my relationship with my family and friends. It’s scary how easy it can be for me to go months without speaking to people who I say are important to me so I plan on correcting that somewhat. I must say voice notes have been instrumental in helping me with this because it’s not every time Zoom / phone call or texts, sometimes its personal podcasts baby. And the other type of relationship I want to cultivate is the one where romance and life partnership plays a role. I had dubbed this year to be The Year of the Hoe but God said, ‘bitch no’. I’ve tried to be proactive and have now joined Bumble but I can’t lie that’s just not where I imagined my meet cute to happen. But in the age of pandemics and lockdowns, dating in digital environs might be the way for quite some time. Sadly.

work

This dominated quite a lot of my 20’s in terms of focus and energy spent. And whilst I don’t want to work less per say, I do want to work smarter and with a higher degree of play. I’ve got several courses lined up to help prep me for different industries I want to work in; I’m ready to level the f*ck up but this requires both hard-work and patience, two things I’m pretty low on at the moment but you know, we move. I am excited about finding ways to make working more fun despite the economic climate we’re in and my natural tendency to see the glass half empty and plan for worst case scenarios.

education

I love learning. Like, a lot. I’m wasn’t great with the self-study in my 20’s post uni and I don’t want this to still be the case so I’ve identified a few achievable goals for me in this area and have already a completed a couple which has created room for a couple more. Thinking critically is a big thing for me - it’s something I’ve struggled to this year in particular and I want that to change. It’s been incredibly hard to read and just concentrate in general at the moment so I’m learning to be kinder to myself in this respect and finding other modes of absorbing information no matter how slowly.

I’m really happy with the goals I’ve set and look forward to seeing what worked and what didn’t this time next year, if I’m fortunate to still be here then. Anyway, hope you’re good, wherever you are.